We Are Outward Bound (Whether they like it or not)

"Go outside and play," I tell the boys when their eyes have become bloodshot and bulging after an obscene amount of time in front of the latest war video game. They moan and groan and promise to evacuate the house after they kill one more Nazi Zombie. "Nope, NOW." I demand. "Save it and get out of my house. I don't wanna see your stinkin' faces for at least three hours! Now get!" I snatch controllers and kick swiftly at little behinds all the while pushing them out the back door.

"But mahhhhhhhmmmm....., it's boring outside," B moans, " There's nothing to doooooooo....."
"Yeahhhhhh....," chimes in T., "Nothin'...."
"Okay then," I say, "Anyone who stays in the house has to clean the cat litter box." The backs of three heads vanish immediately and the screen door slams.

Nothing to do????? Nothing to do outside??????? Remember when we used to leave the house in the morning and not return until dinnertime? And coming home at dinnertime was a disappointment!! We hopped on our bikes and rode to the park or playground, maybe the empty lot at the end of the cul-de-sac. There were trees to be climbed and forts to be built, streams to be explored and stones to be skipped. The princess needed to be rescued and horse races to be won. Even when it rained, puddles became moats and mud turned into canons. Remember that?

It frightens me to find my children outside so little. When they are outside they are either being shuffled to a sport or a lesson and the sport is the only other time they are out for an extended period of time. They beg to be driven to school when in reality it is a leisurely walk from our home. "Can you drive me to Alex's?" is a common question overheard on the weekend.

What happened? Is it that we parents are too afraid to let our kids roam the neighborhood the way we used to? Is it really more unsafe now than when we were young? Or is it that there isn't really any place for them to go and play freely as we did. You can't climb that tree or build that fort if it's on someone else's property....wayyyyyy too much of a liability. Oh, and don't climb up that slide little boy, you could get hurt. No walking across the top of the monkey bars--God forbid! What if you fall!! Skateboarding? Bike riding? Not near the library or the village hall, or for that matter on the street....the village ordinance says you can't. Have we taken away all their opportunities for fun? Oh no, Suzie can't walk home from school by herself, you never know what could happen between here and school!!! Have we taken away opportunities to build their independence?

I love being outside. Always have. It worries me that my own kids will grow up without an appreciation for wilderness and mother nature. They might never know the soul restoring power that can be found in nature. I'm trying hard to involve them more in my favorite activities, but boy, I gotta tell you, it is NOT easy to introduce kids to things they already believe are "boring." That adjective is the kiss of death.

Luckily, T. is only nine years old. He is still young enough, I believe, to be influenced in a positive way toward the natural world and all things "outdoorsy." Out of the three boys, he has always been the most active one and it is only recently that he has emulated his older brothers' bad non-stop gaming habits. Knowing this, I decided to try an experiment with him first. I didn't tell him where we were going or what we were doing, but only conceded that he would need to wear flip flops and sunscreen and bring a water bottle. When we pulled up to the boathouse at our local forest preserve, his face brightened. We paid twelve dollars to rent a canoe for an hour. (I wasn't about to do the whole day--what if he hated it?) The lifejackets fit snugly and our launch was smooth. We were off to a fantastic start. It was a Sunday morning and there had been lots of cars in the parking lot, but the lake was calm and peaceful with hardly any other canoes on it. I was the "rudder" and steered us in the correct direction, while I let T. just get used to using the paddle and learning the technique. He quickly learned how to switch from the right side to the left side, splashing just enough water backwards to make me yelp. You can imagine my relief when he began to point out the different birds and asked what they were called. Mostly though, we were just quiet. Listening for unfamiliar sounds and sights, enjoying the slow lifting and lowering of the water surrounding us. The wind began to pick up and we had to struggle to get back to the boathouse within our time limit. At one point it took both of us paddling like crazy on the right side simply to keep ourselves from becoming a pinwheel in the middle of Busse Lake!  Back in the car on the way home, T grinned and said, "Mom, next time can we bring B. and N.?" I told him if he went home and made a REALLY big deal about it and let his brothers know how much fun he'd had, then maybe they could be persuaded to come along.

Since then, I have planned a half-day kayaking trip with my sister in southern Wisconsin and am looking forward to bringing the boys to Starved Rock for a day or two. T. helped me set up our new tent so I could waterproof it. He also helped me take it down two hours later when it began to RAIN. (Waterproofing doesn't work when it's wet!!!) Needless to say, the second time I tried, I was on my own. Of course, after it was all staked into the ground, the boys brought their novels, their homework, the cat and their aunt's dog into the tent with them and "camped out" in our backyard. This was merely practice, they assured me. Unfortunately, the next day was one of fifty-mile per hour winds and the tent was levitated and catipulted over our clothesline. Figures. (Obviously, no one was in it!!)

Even though I'd love for my kids to be more adventurous outdoors and more active in our neighborhood, I have to admit that I am one of those parents who worry about what can happen between home and the friend's house. While I'm encouraging them to ride their bikes more and walk to Gramma's when they need to visit her, I'm still guilty of the occasional drive to school. What can I say?  Times have changed.

If you'd like to find a place near you to canoe or kayak, visit:

• http://www.waterplayusa.com/