On Being Grateful

They say when you feel defeated or lost, you should count your blessings; that this is something we can do everyday, not just once a year on Thanksgiving. I have to admit, when I thank God for the abundance in my life I do automatically feel a strange sense of peace. I realize that even though I might be unemployed, and in a financial crisis, I am still so much better off than the majority of the people living on this planet.

VISION BOARDS

I have to admit, I've never been a huge Oprah Show fan, but recently I was told about her "LifeClass" series on OWN, her new TV network. Since I don't have OWN, I decided to check out her lifeclasses on her website, www.oprah.com.

I am so impressed with how genuine and truly helpful she comes across in her web-casts. She has excellent guest speakers, and most of the class is interactive in some way. The topics range from "Dealing with Anger," to "Letting Go of the Past." There are workbook questions to go with each webcast which really force you to be introspective. One of my favorite parts, though, is the "Dream Board" section where you can put your vision of what you would like your life to be into a visual "bulletin board."

My "Vision Board"

You Are What You Believe

"Change your thoughts and you change the world."
Norman Vincent Peale

I have the power to design my own life.

"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our world."
~Buddha~

New Beginnings

Has it really been five months? 

Time changes things; time heals; time helps you forget.

We are in our new home. Our friends have family have made this the most special home for us by donating furniture and everything else we could possibly need to start over. We moved into the new place in the middle of August and are thoroughly settled.

I count my blessings every day for the generous people in my life. Thank you for all you have given us and all of your thoughts and prayers. We truly are living in abundance because of our friends and family who love us.

I love you all.

Time To Move On...(Literally)

It has been eight long months of......what?? I don't know what to call it. Eight months of living out of plastic garbage bags, sleeping on air mattresses, barring people from entering my "home." I cannot even call it my home anymore because I dread being here.

Getting a full night's sleep is a joke. The itching escalates at night and I wind up scratching myself until I bleed. At the present time, I have at least 75 bites on my body. I wake up with ten to fifteen new ones each morning. The boys no longer even sleep here, they're so fed up. I feel better knowing they can sleep bite-free at their dad's house.

This bed bug situation has really opened my eyes to some basic lessons of life:

1. Stuff doesn't matter
2. You can go crazy from scratching
3. Sometimes you need to let go

We will be moving out in a few weeks. Ninety percent of our "stuff" is either already gone or will be staying with the house. I cannot take the chance of bringing these homewreckers with me. We don't have a new place yet, but I refuse to put my family through any more turmoil.

Yes, I am grateful we are all healthy and safe....but this situation has slowly but surely tested all of our mental constitutions. I'm going to quit while I'm still relatively sane.

One of the most frustrating parts of this is that my landlord doesn't believe there are really bed bugs in this house. I have done everything I can to take care of this problem and have not  asked him until now to help me out. Alas, I am leaving this "alllergic reaction" to him now. (He believes it is an allergy to something I have brought into the house.  Yeah, it is. A reaction to BED BUGS!)

 I can say with a clear conscience that this is no longer my problem. Time to move on and enjoy each day itch-free.

Living in Hell

Hello all!

I cannot believe it has been FOUR months since my last posting. But when I think about what has been happening for the last four months, it makes sense. Let's just say that my faith in reusing and recycling has been severely tested this past quarter.

It seems that the sleeping bag that I purchased second-hand at a thrift shop for my week-long permaculture outdoor workshop was infested with bedbugs.

A couple of weeks after my trip, the kids and I began to suffer from small, red, itchy bumps on our torsos and arms. I cursed the day we rescued our cat and treated the house and him immediately for fleas. I felt horrible using the chemical treatment, but have had them before and knew I had to contain them before they overtook the house. A week later when the bites didn't disappear, but got worse, I knew something wasn't right. I had heard about bedbugs before but didn't believe I needed to worry about them. Besides, everything I had ever bought used I washed right away and hung outside to dry on the line. I was so confused. I read a little about them online and looked for pictures of them. So far, I hadn't seen any in our house, but I needed to know what to look for. Sure enough, after a few more days I found one dead on smashed on the strap of my bra which was hanging off of my door handle!! Immediately, I called the pest control company I have always used for ants in the past and explained the situation. They came out that afternoon.



(Photo courtesy of bed-bugs-handbook.com)
An adult bed bug, a bit bigger than a grain of rice

 It has been four months since that first treatment. That pest control company came SIX more times. Still, two of us continued to get bitten. I assumed the bugs must still be in my son's room and my room which was why we were still getting eaten alive. (It cost $400 dollars for the treatment which included a thirty day warranty.) I almost passed out when I heard the cost. Little did I know that they were extremely reasonable compared to all the other companies I would contact. After my bug guy had come a total of seven times with no luck, I finally looked up "Bed Bug Exterminators" online and called one named AAA Bedbugs. They were located in Chicago. Just the fact that they had the word "bed bugs" in their title made me feel better. They would have to know how to get rid of these little monsters. After finding out that they charged a $45 inspection fee plus over $150 per room but had a sixty day warranty, I made an appointment. The technician (that's what their called now, not "the bug guy") came out that day and sprayed the two bedrooms  with "cryonite." It is basically freezing them upon contact.

Well......that same technician just left my house about an hour ago.
For the FOURTH time. He came back after doing the two bedrooms and sprayed the whole house. (at over $150 per room, remember) He has used the cryonite again, he has sprayed toxic pesticides. He even set off those awful "bombs" in the house. (This, I just recently found out is the WORST possible thing you could do, as it causes the bugs to delve deeper into their hiding spots to get away.) I have thrown out my mattress and box spring, my son's mattress and box spring and our vacuum cleaner. I have thrown away comforters and blankets, towels and clothing. Books, toys, stuffed animals, posters, rugs, shoes...you name it.

We have been living a nightmare for the past four months. We continue to get bitten. I currently have about thirty old and new bites on my belly, back, shoulders and upper arms. My oldest woke up with fifteen bites on his upper arm yesterday and poor B has at least fifty bites all over him. It seems that T, the youngest doesn't react to the bites. I have only found one on him the whole time. The bites itch like a mosquito bite and bleed quickly. The itching can last from one to three weeks. B has scars from the places he has scratched so much.

These mother*!#*!'s can hide anywhere. They particularly like linens and wood, but have been found in clock radios and picture frames before. Everything that is too big or cannot be laundered has been sealed in black garbage bags and placed in the garage.

I spent three hundred dollars today at Walmart on mattress encasements, a steam cleaner, bed bug pesticides, gloves, face masks,  big rubbermaid storage containers,  rubbing alcohol and MORE laundry detergent. I am going to vacuum, steam, spray and scrub the crap out of every surface in my house. I will throw out my couch if I have to, I'm so desperate.

The worst part is, I cannot even donate any of this stuff. It could have bed bugs and the last thing I want to do is pass this on to another family.

I consider myself fairly close to a bedbug expert by now and found out how they got in. I mentioned the sleeping bag earlier, and washing linens and clothing should kill bedbugs. However, it must be washed in EXTREMELY HOT water--at least 120 degrees. Also, you must PUT IT IN THE DRYER as well. The heat from the dryer also kills all stages of bedbugs. When I brought the sleeping bag home, I was trying to be environmentally friendly and economical. I used COLD water when I washed it and hung it outside to dry. Those little critters must have been laughing at me as they swayed to and fro in the breeze on the line in my backyard.

At night, I dream of washers and dryers, spinning non-stop. I have nightmares of bites I cannot reach, or fingers with no nails to speak of.

I have shown the kids how to use a long serving fork as a back/torso scratcher for those hard to reach places.

We live out of plastic bags. I do loads and loads of laundry every day. Our pillows have been washed fourteen times. They aren't even pillows anymore, more like lumps of fabric that used to be soft. The blankets and comforters have holes in them from getting snagged by the top of the washer. The boys are down to four pairs of pants and five shirts each because it is easier that way. When we go to someone's house we wear clean clothes and don't bring anything with us.

I hope you can forgive me for my blogging absence. I just haven't had the heart to tout the "reduce, reuse, recycle" mantra lately and I haven't had the time to, either. If I have learned anything so far, though, it is that one can live upon very little--that material possessions really don't mean that much....especially if they are infested with bedbugs.

Inspiration



I'd like to use this post to share some of the ideas and pictures from my recent permaculture course. I hope they will inspire you to learn more and practice some of the principles in your own yard or community. 

 UNCOMMON GROUND

Uncommon Ground is located in Rogers Park. This restaurant is SO cool. They have their own farmer! He takes care of the rooftop gardens, parking lot beds, rooftop beehives and excess veggie oil which is given away for biofuel. The restaurant makes it a point to use mostly locally sourced food and utilizes what they grow on their property as well.

WATERS SCHOOL

One of the places we visited as well was Waters School on the Northside. One amazing parent has transformed a broken-down, worn-out school yard into a beautiful area where both school children and members of the neighbohood work together and build community.



This is part of the school's side of the garden. Classes tend this side during the school year, while community members with plots on the community garden side agree to take care of them over the summer. 



 The beds below follow a sort of "keyhole" bed design allowing for greater edge and winding pathways.

THE NOWICKI'S

Our final destination was to Ron and Vicki Nowicki's house in Downer's Grove. They built their house in the seventies, with the intention of living as sustainably as possible, being sure to include passive solar design and growing as much food as possible on their own property-which meant, God forbid...no lawn!!! I have to say that their property is more beautiful than any meticulously maintained suburban lawn I have ever seen. 

They have a wood burning stove which is what provides for most of their heating needs and are proud to have yearly energy bills which are less than some of us pay in one month. The neatest thing about their home, though, is that you would never know you were living mostly "off the grid." Their home is comfortable and modern, with conveniences we expect in most of our own houses. This special couple definitely has some secrets to share with the rest of us looking to tread a little more lightly these days. Thank you, Ron and Vicki!



Vicki uses a special umbrella to protect and create a beneficial microclimate for new plants.



Herbs, vegetables, native prairie plants and fruit trees all work together to create beneficial relationships for wildlife, the plants and the people who use them.

Part of permaculture is creating relationships that create balance. Whether it be with plants, animals or human relationships, the goal is to have all the separate pieces support each other repeatedly and in multiple ways, providing failsafe systems.